So great. Good on Vulture for listening to him and publishing the full, annotated version.
1. If I were DJ’n Jimmy Fallon’s Yacht Rock Party: “Route 101” by Herb Alpert. (Every August we get our smooth on. It’s going on our third year, one of my best parties ever.)
2. If I were DJ’n Brian Williams Clam Bake: “Wind Chimes (Version 2 Tag)” by the Beach Boys. (No one tries to “out obscure song reference” you like B Willie, even if said jam is a bunch of studio jabber … He’d call me out if I didn’t play the mono version.)
3. If I were DJ’n Amber Tamblyn’s wedding reception: “I Gotta Chick” by Tyrese featuring R. Kelly and Rick Ross. (Because it’s only right.)
4. If I were DJ’n Aziz Ansari’s rooftop ‘que: “Spend It (Riding Round & Getting It)” by 2 Chainz. (Lactose punch lines are the in thing this year.)
5. If I were DJ’n Penn Badgley and Zoe Kravitz’s Williamsburg backyard potluck: “Occapella” by Lee Dorsey. (It’s mostly 1972 with these guys.)
6. If I were DJ’n Prince’s vegan-only after-party: “The Engine in Me” by Graham Central Station. (Good bass work gets his motor running.)
7. If I were DJ’n the Fela Returns to Broadway (did I just leak an exclusive?!?!) preshow BBQ/postshow/after-party: “Beast of No Nation.” (Fela’s last and greatest groove … Throws ‘em off every time I spin it, like “how’d we forget THIS ONE!?!?!”)
8. If I were DJ’n Mick Jagger and L’ren Scott’s evening ‘que: “I Don’t Know Why” by Delroy Wilson. (Riddems riddems roots all night long.)
9. If I were DJ’n Oprah’s Fish Fry: “Rock Creek Park” by the Blackbyrds. (This is my version of giving her a free car. If I was given a half-hour more, I swear her and Gayle would be re-creating the subway Bboy battle scene from Beat Street.)
10. If I were DJ’n Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Garden Party: “Beware” by Louis Jordan. (Jazz with a financial cautionary tale on the side.)
10a. If I were DJ’n Mayor Michael Nutter’s Jam? (Remember, I did start out a Philadelphian): “Rapper’s Delight.” (Trust me, Nutter’s true calling is being an MC; check YouTube for the one and only Mike Q.S.T. performance of this song.)
11. If I were DJ’n Andy Samberg’s Summer Jammy Jam: “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel. (Don’t let that digital short bravado fool you, he knows video choreography like the back of his hand.)
12. If I were DJ’n Drake’s BBQ, I’d rock Drake for all five hours out of fear that he’d walk out on me again for not playing his music.
13. If I were DJ’n Amy Poehler’s UCBbque, I’d spin “Summer Nights” by John Travolta and Olivia Newton John. (Because come on now … who can resist a chance to re-create this scene if played in public?)
14. If I were DJ’n Janet Jackson’s beachfront party, I’d play my versions of her brother’s Off the Wall album just so I can watch the slow, “Wait … how’d he get this?!?!?” look she slowly gets anytime I play ‘em.
15. If I were DJ’n for my girlfriend and her best friends, I’d just let ‘em take over the turntables, ‘cause I gotta deal with this woman every day.